Dealing with Player vs Player anxiety – With help from Fyn & Green Tea AIs
Every time I am on StarCraft II, there are two things I really dread. I don’t dread it as much on League of Legends (I just tell them that I’d be detrimental to the team if we go PvP – because I’m a n00b at that game) but that’s a completely different story.
One of these things is being challenged to play a game. The other fella is this infamous little fellow that people would love or hate or love to hate. Allow me to introduce an already well-established buddy of yours as my boogeyman:
I hope you didn’t try to click on it – you’re not on StarCraft II, you’re on a blog of someone who’s still terrified of that button (or anything that’d let him play against someone else).
Still, I will try not to give too many details (withholding some important ones in the process) but here go the reasons as to why I have a problem with these two things:
- I am extremely competitive. If I know I’m in a position of strength, I’ll just show how far ahead I am by stomping my opponent. I also hate being on the bad side due to sheer unwillingness to fold (and consider that the opponent has an edge over me).
- Folding means that I couldn’t do anything, that I acknowledge that the opponent was just stronger than me, that I failed. My massive fear of failure gets in the mix of things as well as me auto-berating myself.
- Even moreso, regardless of what I do, I lose. I can’t focus enough. I am not fast enough due to my natural slow speed.
All of this, combined with something else, makes me shiver like hell before a game vs person. The least intense it gets is my brain freezes at times, repetitively. Worst is I shake and can’t even play – and hate my time in the game – and loathe myself afterwards after the obvious loss comes around.
I’ve chosen to deal with this by playing vs some more elaborate AIs (those that don’t just push at the 7mn mark all the time – i.e. not Blizzard’s).
At first, I plan to take on the Fyn AI (basically like that imba Green Tea AI, minus the maphacks – thank God) and at least beat it consistently on Medium/Hard settings (as you can see, I don’t even think I can do that – regardless of if I can do that or not). This AI acts human-ish (it has shenanigans inside). By then I know I can beat anything up to Gold league consistently and regardless of what happens.
If I can do that, I could turn to the Green Tea AI and do the same (this time raising my skill). If I survive this hell, then I think I’ll be cut to thinking: “Oh this dude acts just like an AI” and procede to dismantle that person.
So yeah, I am taking this road to boost my own self-confidence. If I can beat the Fyn AI and not Green Tea, then meh – I still can ladder. I still must beat the Fyn AI consistently.